Today I celebrate my 10th anniversary!
10 years! I am really excited about that, but I also look forward to the day when I am sitting on some kind of comfy chair on my porch drinking iced tea and holding wrinkly hands with my husband. Watching for those grandbabies to hurry up and get here. (Or in my assisted living apartment planning out what activities we are going to do that week. I have a weird excitement about living somewhere they plan a ton of fun activities at. I know I am romanticizing it, but don’t ruin it for me!)
In honor of our marital success I will share some pictures with you:
You see that picture above? We were thinking something modern for the cake topper, like our initial or something clever. When I saw this, though, the nostalgia from my childhood came and I picked it instead. Looking back it does not say me or my husband, I’m not sure why I did that.
A few things I have learned:
After 10 years you may misplace your wedding album. You may also misplace your cd of all the pictures. You will spend half a day looking for them and come up with only 50%. I will update the pictures when I find that cd!
For real, though, you read everywhere that love is a choice, a verb even if I may (thank you DC Talk, then John Mayer). It really is, there will be a lot that you will love. There will be a lot of good memories, inside jokes and madcap hilarity. There will be late nights (good and bad). There will be times you could not imagine life any other way. Then there are times when it will seem WAY easier to just walk away and forget it. It’s not, the fight is worth it. You will find out way more about yourself than you ever knew existed and so will your spouse. Choose to make love an action even when you are not feeling it. Chances are your spouse has those days too.
A few more things:
-Allow yourself to feel all the feelings (bottling it up will hold you back way more than thoughtful sharing of negative feelings)
-Allow your spouse to feel them too. Sometimes it’s hard, really hard.
-If you need help, get help (friends, family, marriage counseling)
-Admit when you are wrong
-Don’t revel in it if you are right.
This is not an exhaustive list, but please take a moment and really think about which ones you could strengthen your own marriage. Remember the day you said yes to your spouse for the rest of your life, look at your wedding album, then laugh with me about my wedding story.
My wedding story is like this:
10 years ago I struggled, in a major way, with being a people pleaser. (I still do at times, but it’s significantly better now.) I wasn’t the kind of person who had dreamed of their wedding day and quickly got overwhelmed with all the choices. My future husband was helpful when I asked him questions, but I still felt indecisive.
I knew I wanted a low-key ceremony, so I only invited 200 people (!?!). I hadn’t been to many weddings and thought 200 was a good number. I looked to many people for ideas and advice and ended up doing too much. I knew I had overdone it when the day of my wedding came along and I cried because nobody could find my cake topper. My brother went and bought another one for 50$ to replace it (oy!).
We were married in a church my husband was the youth pastor at (hello free!) and I would like to say it was a beautiful ceremony. However, I don’t remember a whole lot about it. I do remember I had hardly anything to eat. I let my grandmother go home and change before we did our first dance and held up the reception for 35 minutes (sorry anyone who attended!). I am glad we put money into the photography and we ended up with nice pictures to help us piece things together.
If I had to do it all over again, DESTINATION WEDDING BABY!!
My honeymoon in Puerto Vallarta was a blast though, but no details about that one 🙂
Have any funny wedding stories or marriage tips, I would love to hear them!